


Heaven

by Annien



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Femslash, Femslash February, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 15:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9554885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annien/pseuds/Annien
Summary: Basically just a short narration of the goodbye scene between Lexa and Clarke from 3x07 with a lot of feels.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so my mood for a few days now was – still is – _Heaven_ by Troye Sivan, so I guess that I was in the need of a little angst with a good ending? That’s why this Clexa one shot that describes like 2 minutes from the whole 3x07 happened. It was something done really quick, I just needed to occupy my mind with something else. I hope you’ll enjoy it though.

Heaven

 

 

In the moment Lexa heard knocks on the door and then someone entering her chamber without being invited in, she realised that only one person would dare doing that. And that person was Clarke Griffin. She didn’t know why was the blonde in her room, but she had an idea what could have prompted the sudden visit. That was why Lexa didn’t want to turn the corner and face the blonde. Maybe if she would have stayed where she was and didn’t let the blonde find her, then maybe Clarke would stay as well.

It was a foolish thought to entertain that idea, and _Heda_ couldn’t allow herself to be foolish. Maybe Lexa could be, but when was the last time she truly was _just_ Lexa? The only moments when she felt like she was herself and not the Commander was when alone with Clarke. But now those moments were about to end and she had to make room for _Heda_ again. She sighted and started walking towards her bedroom, allowing herself one more slip and not bringing the Commander back just yet. That way she could hope that the sky girl was there for another reason.

That fantasy lasted a few seconds though, because in the moment she saw the sorrow written on Clarke’s face she froze into place, reality striking a low blow. When Clarke furrowed her brows and pursed her lips together, Lexa knew that the blonde was trying to decide what would be the best way to give her the news.

She knew how hard it must be for the sky girl, that was why she spared her and spoke first. “When do you leave?” she asked, her voice soft and with a trace of pain that she couldn’t push down.

Lexa’s words broke Clarke from the fantasy she started creating in her mind the moment she saw Lexa turning the corner, her hands playing in her hair, which was all on her right side. Seeing the brunette allowing herself to lay down the mantle of the Commander and just be herself, soft and vulnerable, was the most beautiful sight Clarke saw in her entire life. The way the sunlight was coming in through the ornaments in the wall to her left and gently touching Lexa’s face told Clarke that she could have that forever only if… But then Lexa spoke and she remembered why she came to the Commander in the first place.

“Now,” the blonde found the courage to speak with a slight nod meant only to encourage herself.

After she let her response settle in between the two of them, Clarke looked closely at Lexa’s face and realised that the brunette was trying to keep her feelings neutral and not show her how that really made her feel. But Clarke couldn’t have that, so she decided that before she would have to go and put more distance between them, she could take a few steps forward and give them both what the needed, to be close to each other.

That wasn’t enough though, as she also needed to let Lexa know that she didn’t want to go. With her brows drawn together Clarke spoke the only three words that she could form then, hoping they would help. “I’m sorry,” she said, sincerity dripping out of her voice.

“Don’t be. You have to go back, they’re your people,” Lexa replied, trying to be understanding. Because she did understand what Clarke had to do, more than anyone else. But it still hurt to say that aloud. So she swallowed her sadness and pushed past the need to tell Clarke her true feelings. “That’s why I… That’s why you’re you.”

When Clarke heard Lexa almost confessing her feelings, her voice breaking when she tried to make it easier for her, she realised that she had to comfort the brunette. The blonde also realised that giving Lexa’s position as Commander she wasn’t allowed to feel like this. Maybe the last time she let herself feel sorrow and not push it down was with Costia, and not a moment since. All her life she was told that love and the other feelings it brought were weakness, and _Heda_ was anything but weak.

That was why Lexa did the same thing again now, because she thought that this was their last moment together. She also knew that Clarke didn’t want to leave, so she took it upon herself to make it easier for the blonde. That was why she didn’t speak the words that flew through her veins faster than her nightblood.

That was also why it fell to Clarke to look into those deep eyes that could change from blue to the enchanting green they were now, and give her the hope that they both needed. “Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people,” Clarke consoled the Commander.

Lexa understood what Clarke was trying to do, but she knew that she could never have what the sky girl was saying. _Heda_ always belonged to her people. Even so, she tried to smile, not wanting to let the blonde know how much it pained her. She didn’t want to deny Clarke that hope that she needed, so she tried to be tough.

But the sorrow of letting the sky girl go was too strong. Her eyes were teary and her smile faltered, but she forced herself to speak. “I hope so,” Lexa tried to agree with the blonde, but her voice was conveying doubt, not hope.

Knowing that there was nothing left to do but to part ways, the brunette found in herself the power to extend her arm and initiate the goodbye. “May we meet again,” she said, almost as she resigned any thought of that ever happening.

When Clarke saw Lexa’s extended arm and offered hers in return, she realised that she didn’t want to let go, not without showing Lexa how much she wanted to stay. So she did the only thing she could, the thing she wanted the most. She put behind who they were, what they owed to their people and she closed the last step between her and Lexa and kissed the woman she loved.

Lexa was hesitant when Clarke initiated the kiss. The change shocked her, not expecting the sky girl to kiss her, especially when they were saying goodbye. And she never expected Clarke to want her after she betrayed and hurt her completely. But the blonde was kissing her and that development took her aback, but maybe more than that, Lexa felt not only that the sky girl accepted her own feelings, but that she also returned them. And that made all the guilt she felt for what she did and all the sorrow their parting brought subside as her unshed tear crawled down her cheek.

When their kiss ended, Lexa didn’t know where they were standing. Was it just a goodbye kiss meant to temporarily soothe the pain of their departure and give Lexa something to hold on to and hope for, or was there room for more in between them?

Her silent questions were answered a moment after when Clarke was kissing her again. And oh, it felt like bliss to have the confirmation that the blonde actually wanted to do that. With a sigh meant to free all the restraint that made her keep her affection for Clarke hidden, Lexa became the one taking control of their kiss, expressing all the love and the hunger she had for the blonde.

Lexa offered all that she had and all that she was to Clarke without trying to pressure the other woman for more. She was content to follow the sky girl’s initiative and to not take more than the blonde had to offer. She gave in to the repressed feelings and allowed herself to taste the other woman and to feel her under her already roaming hands.

The same obvious and tangible passion was flowing through Clarke, and the blonde wanted to return what Lexa was offering. Moving her hands behind Lexa’s neck, she swiftly removed the threads of her top, leaving her shoulders empty.

It was only then when Lexa realised fully how much Clarke wanted to be with her. Despite the fact that the blonde was leading them backwards up until the brunette’s knees hit the bed, Lexa still couldn’t believe what was happening. So, she looked into Clarke’s bright blue eyes, trying to make sure that the sky girl was ready. What she saw when her eyes met the blonde’s was acceptance, affection, love and also desire, but no trace of doubt. When Lexa saw the answer to her question burning in Clarke’s eyes, she didn’t hesitate anymore, reaching out and pulling the woman she loved on top of her.

Even if they were on borrowed time, it didn’t feel like that even for a second. In that moment it was just the two of them, no other responsibilities hanging on their shoulders. There was no urgency in the air, and not a single thought spared for what they will both have to face once they will separate. In that moment they owed nothing to their people, instead they offered everything they had to each other. In that moment they were both in Heaven.


End file.
